An ode to Wilbur. And Dallas Cheerleaders...

I had GRAND plans for my first blog post after a very long hiatus. I was going to write about our Real Food lifestyle, Ben's behavioral issues and the drastic changes we've made as a family, but honestly, I have to first blog about what happened today. At the grocery story.. No I'm not kidding. I'm a stay at home Momma people! All my exciting life stuff happens at the grocery store. Or at the park y'all. I'm not 21 anymore. 25 is a whole different level of wild. Today, Chris was sick, and it was starting to rain as soon as naps were over. So I thought I'd be a nice wife, let C get a little nap in and I'd take the kids to buy uncurred bacon at Publix. I'm not even kidding. Publix is the most exciting thing. EVER. We get free cookies. We get to get out of the house. And Ben and I get to watch Christopher Robin almost hyperventilate from excitement over getting a balloon. Oh sweet, sweet Christopher Robin. Anyway, we made a little pit stop at 7-11 first to get gas. Mimsey (Momma Missy) called and we got to discuss buying a cow with her. Her one question was "Well. How much beef do y'all actually eat?!" And all I could say was "A lot. We are actually on our way to buy bacon" which lead to her asking "Well, are you buying a cow..or Wilbur?" Oh Mimsey. She's so wise. And she seems to be able to keep her edible animals straight, unlike Momma Mk over here! As soon as we got gas, got off the phone with Mimsey, and got out of the van at Publix, the heavens opened up. It started to POUR down rain. We forgot Ben's shoes (Waiting on my Mother of the Year award) so as we walked into Publix, Ben was on my back and Christopher Robin found himself clinging for dear life to my hip. Moments like that, I bet he wishes Momma was a big girl. There's not a lot to cling to these days! We found our "car" cart as Ben calls it, and made our way straight to the bacon aisle. We ain't playin' y'all. We LOVE our apple gate bacon. Right as I was searching the bacon display, a Publix employee walked up. Some young guy. I say young guy, but I think he was like 27. I just felt old at that point..because let's face it, I picked the wrong day to wear a maxi dress. It was so wet from the rain, it probably weighed more than I did at that point. The poor guy took one look at me and stammered "Um. Do you need, like a towel? Or something to dry off with?" Now before I could politely decline, Ben decided now would be a good idea to do his best impression of me on drugs. (I don't do drugs, but this is how I picture myself high on pot) and he started to laughed louder than I've eve heard him (kid's got lungs!) and point. He specifically was pointing at the poor Publix employee and laughing. Louder and louder. Oh Ben.... I guess he made the Publix guy so nervous, the guy ran away pretty quickly. Bless his heart. We walked around the rest of the store, just trying to kill some time. And I kept wondering how I could keep my maxi dress from dragging me down (these are the super serious thoughts of a Momma of two toddlers) and I kept making myself laugh, imaging tying up my dress to try and look something like a Dallas Texas Cheerleader top. The funny thing is, I feel like I walk through life with her exact expression. Maybe I need to really re-think my wardrobe. hahahaha! Just kidding... But since I was looking a like more like a drowned rat, I ended up just tying the ends up in two knots so I could walk, and hoped we didn't see anymore we knew. We walked outside just as the rain seemed to be letting up- and it happened AGAIN! The rain poured down. At this point Ben was yelling so loud about the "RAIN!!!" I couldn't hear myself think. I finally thought to look over at my second born, and he wasn't making a sound. Just hanging out. Watching his romper get more and more soaked. Sweet little guy...Love him. We got in the car, I put the key in the ignition, and wouldn't you know it, Sammy Kershaw's song (I like classic country guys! No judgement please) came on "Don't go near the water" Lemme just regale you with a few lines so you can appreciate the irony of it all: Your mama used to worry about that big muddy river She should've worried about me Cause we were sure enough gettin' our feet wet mama But we didn't go near the water Oh Sammy.. Good thing I didn't learn this lesson! My two wet babies in the back seat are proof. But, one lesson was learned: No more publix outings when it looks like potential downpour. We don't want to scare the employees anymore than usual. Or get our feet wet for that matter. That's all folks! Hopefully, we can discuss drier, and more serious topics at a later date.