Through the years March has become, the most precious yet bittersweet month of the year for me, and all my loved ones.On March 14th 2010, Chris and I welcomed into the world our beautiful son, James Bennett Merrifield (Baby Ben!). He was 4lbs and 17inches long. And every bit as wild and his Momma. He even has my crazy hair, and monkey toes. (Never mind the fact that everything else about him is the spitting image of my incredible husband)
March 15 is my brother Ben's Birthday, and March 17th is the anniversary of Ben's death.
There is such a stark difference in the emotions I felt this year in celebrating Baby's 1st Birthday, and the 6th Anniversary of Big Ben's death, than I've felt the previous years since Ben's homecoming. This year I felt an overwhelming since of peace. Never underestimate the knowledge of total and complete peace in Christ providential will for your life. Take it from someone who spent many years on the journey of grief and sadness. The years leading up to Baby Ben's birth were tough years. But the blessings that brought Chris and I both to the place where we rest now, at the foot of the cross, can never be measured. Someone very sweet and dear once told me grief is "just messy". And Messy is the perfect way to describe our life. Messy...yet Wonderful. And filled shining examples of Christ love. But still messy!
Speaking of messy, Baby Ben is the epitome of all things messy. He doesn't just like to hold onto the drawer of my chest of drawers, he likes to open it up, and pull out every single shirt I own. I think he's trying to tell me it's time to organize my clothing. He also thinks it's a great idea to throw his craisins and cheerios across the apartment when he finds himself feeling total bliss. This emotion is normally brought about by a full tummy and Mommy giving him teaspoons to play with. He is a child after my own heart. Did I mention he's newest hobby is putting almond butter in his hair? :)
Such a sweet post. I think of you all often.
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